To work or not to work. That is the question

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When I decided to have kids, I told myself that I would spend as much time at home as possible….and thus became my 75% stay-at-home-mom status. I managed to line things up quite well to where I was able to work 10 hours in person for one job, and then another part time job online from home. And that was the way it was for a solid 3.5 years. Then January 2013 came around and some opportunities knocked at my door for some additional face-to-face work. Being that Baby K was 18 months old and Miss Vy partially in Preschool, it seemed like a good time to get my foot back in. Oh, but being the dedicated mother that I am – it was under one condition: I got to pick the specific hours. Which in turn, I picked an additional 8 hours a week that overlapped RIGHT when my kids were napping. Wonderful. I leave as they are getting ready for nap, and then I come home right after they wake up. So it took very little additional time away from my babies. *sigh* That also meant that I gave up my precious personal quiet time. But oh wells, the time with my kids was more important right?

Anyhow… as we approach September and its time for me to figure out another semester’s work schedule, I’m faced with the crossroads of whether or not I want to squeeze in a few extra hours here or there? V will be in preschool all five mornings this next year, so it will be giving me solid one-on-one time with the lil’ man. Something so precious that time won’t ever give back to me once he heads off to some preschool  next year. But if I know that, then why does a large part of me still want to squeeze in that extra work shift!?!? You  know why? Because when I went up to 18-23 hours this year (after 3.5 years of a measely 10 hrs)…. my pocketbook was feeling fatter and I liked it. I missed it. Now I’m hungryyyy for it.

Most people who know me well, know that I’m a hustler at heart. Always trying to dabble in different things and looking for ways to make the best bang for your buck. My close friends also know that I have a very hard time saying “No” when I have an opportunity to pick up another project or work gig. As jammed as my schedule already is, there is always room for more.

Damn, if only I got paid for ALL the mommy work I do!

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So, before I send off my confirmation of my fall work hours… I thought I would just vent it here – about the crossroads I stand at. About how I’m definitely bummed that I won’t take the extra shift. About how I should be excited to spend all the extra one-on-one time with my son this fall. I need to remember that I won’t get this time back. Oh, that that there will be plenty of time to regain my balla’ status in 2  years when both kids are in elementary school. I know I’ve made the right decision.  I don’t know why I’m trippin’ so much… I still practically have a full-time online gig as well plus the part-time photography business… I really am swamped as it is. *sigh* Money hungry I tell ya… always paper chasin’…

 

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